What a week!

Tuesday we put one of my grandfathers horses to sleep. He had bought him as a 6 month old in Florida, where he'd also live and train for the next year. He came up here as a two year old. (earliest legal age to race a thoroughbred). He had to unremarkable starts at the Atlantic City Race Course (before it became little more then an OTB). At ages 3 and 4 he won a single race with a half dozen others finishing in the money. At 4 he began to have back pain of an unexplained origin. Never was a horse so pampered. He had acupuncture, acupressure, magnetic therapy, massage, ultrasound therapy, still he was sore. So he had the vet start testing. He had a nasogastric scope to check for lesions anywhere in his digestive track that might cause pain, x-rays of all his legs, 8 angles of each, as well as numerous others. Finally, my grandfather decided he'd come home to our house for a rest, and a 2ND and 3rd opinion from other vets. Our vet at the time looked at the x-rays and laughed. I brought the horse out and he looked at him. He new right away what the problem was. He prescribe a course of treatments to remedy it, along with instruction for maintenance for his transition back to work. I implemented his directions for 8 months after which we was back to perfect shape. Well, perfect shape, and about 400 pounds overweight, but what do you want?lol. He went on race again at age 5,6, 7, and 8. He won 3 more races, and had many many other finishes in the money. His career ended with a devastating bow (sever tendon strain)to his right fore leg, during a race. Because of a smart jockey, and the fast action of a bi stander, he was saved from certain euthanizing. He returned home again with a year of stall rest ahead. After finishing his recuperation, he began his new job of a riding horse. I used him to teach riding lessons on for 3 years before he began to emphatically express his distaste for students. He went back to a riding horse. He had developed, overtime, ulcers, and very ossified arthritis throughout his skeleton. We managed his pain success fully, and he was completely retired from any riding, for the last few years. This last year he started getting sarcoma tumors, having a very hard time keeping on weight, developed a very downtrodden attitude, and in the last 2 months has gotten more and more lame each day. That is what has brought us here this Tuesday. He was 14 years old. (ancient in the wild, mid age in domestication) He was my grandfathers favorite. My grandfather passed away in 2003, watching the horse decline, and finally putting him to sleep was incredibly difficult. It was like saying good bye to part of my grandfather, again.

I have been around horses since I was 8 years old. They are fragile animals, and quite often have to be euthanized because of infirmity or accident. This has happened over and over in my life for the past 21 years. I have become very numb to death with time, understandably I think.

I have watched more then one horse draw there last breath, I've found very old animals in the morning, after they've died in sleep. But this, saying good bye to THIS horse, was not the same. Tuesday I held his lead rope and stroked his forehead as our vet drew that familiar blue liquid into a large syringe and injected him. Most horses begin to fall before the needle is removed fully. My boy stood for a good 10 seconds. He has always been so tough. I couldn't hold back my tears any longer, though i did my best to stifle them. I sat next to his head as he lie there drawing what would be his last breaths. His heart still fought. Finally the breath stopped. Our vet checked for his heart beat, and it was gone, he was gone. As the vet stepped away from him, my muffled cries turned to sobbing. My mother was there and walked the vet out. I collapsed on my beloved animal crying and stroking his face, and babbling things to him. I laid there until my mom returned about 5 minutes later. I stood up and really looked at him. Even in his poor condition, blood dripping from the injection site, excrement being released, he was beautiful to me and now he was gone. We found some blankets and covered him until we had help bury him later that night. I walked to the house less part of myself. I am grateful I was able to know this awesome animal, to care for him all of these years, and ultimately, to relieve him of a life of pain. I will thoroughly miss him.