Snap out of it, you big baby!

Hello Out there!

This week has really kicked my butt. Ten hour days with the baby. That wouldn't be so bad if didn't have to do the rest of my work. My mom had, or is having, a mental melt down. She had made so much progress in the last couple months, but now she's slid back to the state she was in more then a month ago. Because of that, I have a little more to do, and a lot more time to spend helping her get through the day. I'm busy and tired. It would seem that would sum it all up.

In the grand scheme of things, my life is wonderful. It is easy to forget that so many of us are privileged. We have a place to live, clothing, food and clean water. We have heat to keep us warm through the winter and a good amount of us have air conditioning to save us from breaking a sweat in the summer.

It's funny, I comprehend how good my life is compared to so many others, and yet I still feel overwhelmed. Would those without food and shelter not welcome my "burdens" to have what we have? I would guess yes.

Maybe it become harder to feel free of the urge to complain, when we are not in some sort of physical turmoil. This seems to be true for me. Things in my life could be going terribly, and my mind might be spinning from it, but I don't feel like life is all that bad. When my body has a physical reaction (exhaustion, intense or constant pain, illness via infection, or organic illness) seeing how blessed I am becomes much harder.

Today for example, more then one thing, physically, is bothering me. (I'm hoping after I write this, I might be able to push it to the back of my mind) The feeling of being on your feet all day, doing manual labor in the heat, working past your physical limitations, we all have had that feeling. A feeling that someone has pulled the plug and drained you of all your strength. I got kicked in the hip by one of the horses yesterday. That was the cherry on top for me, lol.

At any rate, I guess this was a round about gratitude posting.

Today I'm doing my best to be grateful for everything. Even the things that make me feel sorry for myself. But especially for whatever it is that slaps me across the face and says, "Snap out of it you big baby!

I hope everyone enjoys the weekend.
tootaloo

sarah

Let me start by saying, intelligible thought are not readily flowing through my fingertips, at the moment.

I have so much on my mind, things that, when I'm not sitting in front of the computer, I have easy access to. Every time, as of late, that I have the opportunity to write, here and on my other blog, all of my sense seems to leave me. In fact, this blog, thus far, is the most coherent thing I've been able to write in the last 2 weeks. Hopefully, I'll be able to organize some of the things that have been clogging up my brain.

money
jobs
my nephew
my parents
my sister
the dogs
the horses
maintenance on the outdoor buildings
privacy or rather lack there of
transportation
my birthday
Oklahoma and my friends there
grass, trees, weeds
vacuum cleaners
cleaning out the shed (smashing all the things in it that are not mine)
my cousin in DC
jealousy
lust
escape
vacation
exercise
headaches
impatience
frustration
fireworks
losing weight
cleaning
eating right
avoiding things made in china
trying to buy things that are environmentally friendly
loneliness
sex
painting walls and buildings
painting for entertainment
getting the poem in my head out and onto paper
the election
the war(s)
stupid campaign ads
chocolate
freedom (all definitions of freedom are applicable)
comedy (too many jokes)


I'm just mentally and physically beat to a pulp. I'm sure that from the above it is clear, that my marbles are banging around in my skull in no particular order. I feel a little less jumbled after having written all the crap in my brain down. Hopefully this little regurgitation of the mind will help get me back in working err..... writing order.

"SERENITY NOW!!!"